


sometimes i forget to breathe (but i'm not alone)

by pen_light



Series: babbles from one in the am [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Fluff, Gen, LMFAO - Freeform, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a lot of cuddles, i actually dont know how to tag, its just michael dealing with a downfall but ashton's here and all is ok, like minimal, lowercase intentional, malum and muke are like honorable mentions, they literally come up in the last second
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 05:38:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11306814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pen_light/pseuds/pen_light
Summary: "do you sometimes forget to breathe?”ashton raises his eyebrows, eyes already shut from the weight of slumber. michael’s resting on his chest with him reclining deep into the couch.“hmmm?”“did you ever forget to breathe?”or; michael slips and ashton's there to help





	sometimes i forget to breathe (but i'm not alone)

**Author's Note:**

> heyo! 
> 
> this was inspired by my own spells and all that. i needed to write out a comforting ending for myself so i took it to mashton. 
> 
> its been a while since i wrote for 5sos. so, um, if anything's messed up, let me know. also, don't go looking for my other works, i deleted them off of here and they're private on other sites. trust me, my 9th grade self didn't know any better. 
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy!

as smooth as life may seem, recovery is nothing but a turbulent plane ride. high altitudes ride along with its equivalent ‘high’. yet, the slightest drop, the slightest gust, the slightest storm can rearrange the positive trajectory, rescaling the entire ride. 

 

michael’s aware of the long ride ahead. he’s expected his moments where his world would come crashing in. but preparation can’t protect him. as much as he’d like to convince himself, this time, proactive protection wasn’t the solution. instead, persistence was the only viable retaliation. 

 

and that sucked. 

 

 

 

 

it’s about 1am—prime time for inspiration to strike. it hasn’t struck for about 7 hours. thus, michael thinks to give it about to the crack of dawn for some divine intervention. 

 

the studio door creaks. it’s soft, as if the intruder were skirting around the corners to avoid the sounds of discovery. michael doesn’t flinch. 

 

rubber squeaks against the wooden floor, subtle footsteps tiptoeing towards the main room. 

 

“michael?” the said boy doesn’t stir. faintly, in the background of the hurricane in his head, the voice echoes in familiarity. 

 

“michael?” the voice is gentle. “you in here?” 

 

the footsteps cease. a blanket of silence drapes itself over the atmosphere. moments pass and michael feels the first sign of movement. against the weight, he shifts, dreary eyes looking back at the entrance. 

 

ashton sighs, meeting the younger’s eyes. understanding flashes in his own as he makes his way to join the guitarist at the couch. he sits. 

 

michael follows the drummer’s movements, latching as a hitchhiker, hoping to find his own momentum in its own. when ashton takes his seat, the boy simply stares. 

 

studying the younger, ashton slowly moves forward. he reaches out and envelopes his friend in a caring embrace, leaning his head against the tuft of hair underneath. 

 

michael allows the older pull him. instantly, he melts into the hug, breathing out a long breath. 

 

it’s only a few seconds before the impending question rolls off of ashton’s lips. “do you want to talk about it?” 

 

michael remains still. the unspoken answer lingers in the air between the two musicians. michael understands the formality behind the inquiry. no matter how much ashton relates from his experience, the question still manages to integrate itself within their space. 

 

they stay frozen in their moment for minutes on end. the warmth from within ashton’s arms smooths out the cold front in michael’s mind the slightest. just enough for him to think. just enough for him to _breathe_. 

 

“there’s nothing to talk about ash,” michael gruffs out in a whisper. he’s pissed. not at ashton, but at himself for slipping despite his improvements. 

 

“it doesn’t have to be about this. talk about anything. life, gaming, music, food—hell, even talk about how annoying we are. i don’t care. just talk.” ashton’s words are slow and carefully worded. it swims through michael freely, calming him down instantly. 

 

“how annoying you are?” michael smacks his lips, working against the dryness in his throat. he hasn’t spoken all day. he’s barely drank or eaten anything as well. the latter comes forth as a revelation when his stomach decides to grumble against the comfortable quiet of the room. 

 

“michael. have you eaten?”

 

the younger wracks his mind to remember his last meal. “i don’t remember… but that’s not important right now. i want to talk about how annoying you are.”

 

ashton rolls his eyes with a small smile. “you may need to think about where to start first. let me get some snacks meanwhile.”

 

michael whines loudly when ashton detaches himself from their cuddle. chuckling, the drummer ignores the huffs and jogs to the nearest fridge. when he opens the appliance, he rolls his eyes again at the racks of beer and red bull. thankfully, stuck in the back corner, he finds a small greek yogurt and cookies pack. shrugging, he retrieves it and grabs a spoon. he turns to find michael draped across the cushions in the same position he had dropped the boy in. 

 

he skips on over to the boy, hoping to drag him out of his void. “i found unhealthy healthy food,” he singsongs. 

 

michael doesn’t stir. “i feel heavy,” he mumbles against the cushions. it comes more as a ‘ifehvy’, but ashton’s learned enough ‘clifford’ in the past 6 years or so.

 

“i know mikey,” ashton answers, setting the snack down. he tries to drag the boy up to a sitting position. “you’ve just got to bear with me for a few minutes. just a few.”

 

michael nods. “can you open it for me?”

 

ashton can’t help but laugh at the feigned baby voice. “if it were anyone else in my position, i’m pretty sure that they would have been creeped out.”

 

“who else would be here besides you?” michael asks against his spoon. 

 

“calum and luke?” 

 

michael’s eyes widen in discovery. “luke would definitely be creeped out.”

 

ashton shakes his head, settling close to the guitarist. “he’s no better.”

 

michael points his spoon way to close to ashton’s face in excited banter. “ _yes_. he is _absolutely no better_. i’m better.”

 

giggling, ashton pushes the spoon away from his face and leans in closer. “calm your horses michael gordon clifford. i never said you were better.”

 

“you never said i was worse.”

 

“that makes no sense.”

 

“give me a break, it’s 1am,” michael says, shoving a full spoon into his mouth. shaking his head, ashton stretches, letting his arm fall behind michael in a cheeky move. at that, the younger shoots the other an amused look. the subtle smile turns into a slight frown. “speaking of which…” he starts. “It’s 1am. what the hell are you doing here?”

 

ashton grins with a shrug. “looking for you. i’m guessing you haven’t checked your phone in a while.”

 

frown deepening, michael hesitantly searches for his phone. fishing into the cushions, his hands quickly find the device. once the screen illuminates, the boy’s eyebrows shoot up along with his eyes widening. 

 

“oh.”

 

ashton laughs. “oh?”

 

“yea, oh. what th— do calum and luke know you’re here with me?”

 

ashton makes a face. “i may have forgotten to tell them. i think.”

 

“‘ _i think_ ’ he says,” michael mutters under his breath, “ _‘i may have forgotten_ ’ he says. you _idiot_.”

 

ignoring ashton’s exclamation ‘hey!’, michael works to send quick messages to his friends and mom. it’s a simple copy-paste message: ‘hey, sorry for not replying. i’m ok and in the studio with ash’.

 

“copy-paste,” ashton comments. he’s got his chin resting against michael’s shoulder. “really?”

 

michael thinks of shoving the older off. he votes against it and decides to snark back instead. “how the hell am i supposed to personalize this?”

 

ashton clears his throat. “start with ‘hey lukeypukey’ and ‘hey c-dizzle’” michael shoves him off. 

 

cackling, ashton tries to regain his spot. michael shakes his head with a smile. “what about my mom?”

 

“hey mom.”

 

“i hate you.” and at that ashton shrugs, mumbling under his breath something about how michael adored him. 

 

setting his items down, michael licks the outside of his mouth, relishing the remains of the yogurt. then, he turns to ashton properly, arms open. punching lightly at the younger’s shoulder, ashton still gives into the cuddle offer. they snuggle together again, this time both persons holding the other with equal force.

 

they’re squished up against each other. for some reason the two find it in themselves to laugh at their situation, soft giggles erupting every now and then. 

 

it takes a while for the soft whispers of nothing but nonsensical conversations and arguments to settle into occasional comments. both boys soon begin to feel their eyes flitting shut. drugged on the lack of sleep, michael’s words slur. ashton, finding it endearingly amusing, chuckles fondly every time the younger speaks. 

 

silence settles itself into their comfort.

 

 

 

 

“do you sometimes forget to breathe?”

 

ashton raises his eyebrows, eyes already shut from the weight of slumber. michael’s resting on his chest with him reclining deep into the couch. 

 

“hmmm?”

 

“did you ever forget to breathe?”

 

“sometimes,” ashton replies. he brings his hand to soft rub michael’s back. 

 

michael blinks. “what did you do?”

 

“i tried to remember how to breathe.”

 

michael blinks again. “that’s not very helpful.”

 

ashton shrugs. “it wasn’t very effective back then.”

 

“does it happen now?”

 

ashton hums in thought. “occasionally. not as bad as before, but yea, it still does.”

 

“what do you do?”

 

ashton stills his hand to tighten his hold. “i come to you guys. mostly in the form of tight hugs. but sometimes also like a silent ninja. i dunno. sometimes just hearing you guys helps.”

 

michael faintly stirs in a nod, the motions barely present. “noted.”

 

ashton begins to fall limp into slumber again. sluggishly, he asks, “need help figuring it out?”

 

michael vaguely shakes his head. “i think i’ve got it figured out,” he mumbles, possibly asleep. 

 

unconsciously, ashton’s eyebrows shoot up. “what is it?” he doesn’t mean to pry, but even against the lull of the steady quietness, he’s curious. 

 

“this,” michael yawns, readjusting himself. “this right here is just fine.” he hugs onto ashton tighter. 

 

ashton simply laughs and shakes his head. adapting to michael’s new position, he finds himself in a surprisingly comfortable position. 

 

“g’nite mikey.”

 

“it’s almost 2am you poop,” the other mutters. how he’s able to bark in such a lethargic state, ashton will never know. even then, it only takes a few seconds before michael relents.

 

“g’nite ash.”

 

 

 

 

 

[“BAND HUG!” 

 

ashton groans against the extra sudden weight pouncing onto him. “calum hood honestly what th—“

 

“good morning to you too,” the said member chirps, lifting himself to cage the duo underneath him. “i see you found michael.”

 

“didn’t he text you where he was?”

 

“yea,” luke scoffs from behind. “after you decided to disappear with him without a word.”

 

rolling his eyes, ashton mindlessly slaps around until he finds his phone. glancing down, he squints. “god damnit, it’s not even 9am you jerks.”

 

“couldn’t sleep all night,” calum says, cuddling into the ‘hug’.

 

“and here i am not believing you.”

 

“and here i am ready to kill the next person who dares speak.”

 

calm’s eyes crinkle with his smile. “good morning mike.”

 

“calum thomas hood, i swear to f—“

 

“is it too late to join?” the youngest chuckles, already making his way to the cuddle. 

 

michael and ashton groan. “shut up luke.” 

 

“it’s never too late luke.”

 

“ _shut up calum_.”]

**Author's Note:**

> i hope it was okay. 
> 
> also, as a request, i also recently returned to the 5sos tumblr fam and like i was wondering if you guys knew active, drama-free blogs. i followed one or two and i got war flashbacks to the same situation that made me leave. like major deja vu. so yea, any suggetions? 
> 
> also, i have a tumblr for my writings in works. ill post that with a commemorative fic or something. so yea, that's what im up to for all this. i'll be posting blurbs, ideas, and possible rants (there's too much drama in the world for me to ignore...). so yea. 
> 
> once again, hope you liked it :D


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